and you said cock pushups were impossible
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
