Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
