he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i believe in u and ur pee
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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