ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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