Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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