Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
