im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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