Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
