if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Randomize