i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Damn victory sex feels great
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
