Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
