party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
