You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
