I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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