your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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