So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
