I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize