I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
