Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The beers last night were like the tears from god
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
