i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
