Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
