I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
