the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
