she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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