So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
