That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
