And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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