come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
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I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
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Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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