I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
