If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
