Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
