the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
