I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
