somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
