margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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