I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
