I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
