In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
