Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
