I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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