Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
