ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
