4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
