Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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