ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
home. puking in laundry basket.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
