Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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