am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
