got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
