its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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