He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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