Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
