I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
