OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
