toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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