absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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