Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
