So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
