butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
