Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
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chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
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you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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