Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
