He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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